Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hasta La Vista Lupron!!

Here I am, I'm still alive, don't worry I didn't go all Ann*a Nicole on your ass & OD. I was just in the depths of Lupron Hell. I don't know about everybody else, but that stuff makes me a crazy lunatic. To sum it up, Jen+Lupron=Crazy Biatch.
Today was my last shot, can I get an Amen?? Whoooo!! Gone with the night sweats, the mood swings, the horror of it all, hallelujah!!! I had an U/S on the 12th and all looked good, my ovaries were quiet (good girls) & my lining was a 4, right where they want it said Mrs. Nurse. I started Estrace & baby aspirin last week & just upped my dose of E to three pills a day starting today. My next check is on Monday & hopefully transfer will be a few days after that. It's getting closer & I'm getting anxious.
I am really trying hard to change my attitude towards this whole infertility thing. I find myself really angry & sarcastic all the time & that's just not me, well not the angry part anyway...Here is an example. There's a girl at work who just got married, was on the pill & is, yep you guessed it, Pregnant! She called me about a month after my miscarriage & said, "I heard a rumor", I said, "really, what's that"? She said, "I heard you are expecting". For the love of God & all that's Holy, why me? "Actually, I had a miscarriage about a month ago". Insert awkward silence. "Oh, O.K., talk to you later". WTF? Every time I run into her in the hall she is holding/rubbing her stomach & looking all angelic. When I am talking with her, in my head I am thinking, wow how awesome for you, you are so totally cool, let me get my noose & I'll just go hang myself. God, morbid isn't it? I also overheard someone at work telling a friend of his that his wife knows she's ovulating & they have been trying for a few months, they just don't know what is going on & she is really stressing about it. Really, really, seriously? Try 4 years Bastard Face...Meanwhile, they already have a 1 & 3 year old. Were those good examples of my raging anger? I know, like I said I'm working on it.
Our due date is on Halloween, so I have been feeling a little sad about that. We also got the burial notice from the Hospital & there was a number to call in the letter to set up a time to go over there if we want. We were thinking about taking next Wednesday off & doing that, but we are going to wait & see what happens with the U/S on Monday, so we know what day the transfer will be. We just got Season 4 of Nip Tuck in the mail yesterday, so guess what we will be doing while on bed rest? Love, love, love that show!

I am also in the process of researching two different adoption agencies, that is definitely something I am interested in & want to pursue. I know how long it takes to get a referral, so figured we might as well get started on the paperwork. My Husband's cousin left for Guatemala on Monday to go visit Rony (previous post). They can't bring him home yet, but they wanted to at least see him, since they have been waiting so long. Apparently there are lots of changes going on with adoptions in G & they are nervous they might not be able to adopt him now. I feel so bad for them, not only do they have to struggle with infertility, but now they can't even "just adopt" like people say. They would make great parents & they are already in love with him. I am praying that things work out for them & that they had a good, safe trip & that they were able to bond with him.

I'm still keeping up with everyone, I was just kind of out of it there for a while. I here by solemnly swear to be a better blogger...Amen.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Bring it on!

Here we go...Everything worked out & I finally got my period last Tuesday night, so started BCP on Wednesday & had my saline sonogram & trial transfer this afternoon. The Dr. said everything looked good, there was no scarring from the D&E & she said that I had one healthy looking uterus, yeah for me! My Husband & I talked about transferring three embryos, but our Dr. said she is worried about that & thinks it's too aggressive, so we are proceeding with two. She said we have 6 awesome embryos out of the 13, but they don't know which straws those are in, so my Husband is going to call the embryologist tomorrow & see what they suggest. The Dr. suggested unthawing them all, but that makes us a little nervous. We shall see! Start Lupron tomorrow morning & off we go. Estimated transfer is Oct 30, or 31st, would be a little weird if it was on the 31st as that was my previous due date. Thanks for hanging in there with me, keep the prayers coming & your fingers crossed.