Friday, May 18, 2007

That dark cloud will not stop following me....

16 weeks, 2 days--
Today's visit with the Perinatal Specialist did not go well. The baby is measuring on track, heart rate 149, but the fluid has gone down even more. She said if she wanted to do an amnio she wouldn't even be able to, because there wouldn't be enough to even test. The baby also might have a hole in it's heart, there is so little fluid though, it's hard for them to see things clearly. She said she is concerned about this being related to some syndrome, which they can't pinpoint yet. She said she is 99% sure that this pregnancy will not end well. She said at this point it's up to us if we want to terminate due to the fatal problems, but I told her our stance on abortion, no matter what the situation is firm. I would rather have God take my baby, than have to make that decision for myself. That is only my personal feeling. She said she is fine with that, it's our decision. She will check us again in two weeks & maybe by some miracle of God the fluid will have gotten better, but it's doubtful. I asked her if the baby would be in any pain & she said absolutely not, when/if the baby passes it will be peaceful & the baby will be with it's Mom. She was very nice & compassionate, but honest, which I appreciate. She said this was just shitty luck & nothing I could have done, or would do, would change the outcome. She said when things go south they can do an autopsy & see if this would be a reoccurring problem & then they could possibly test the 13 remaining embryos.
Sucky way to start the weekend, but I am trying to be thankful for the things I do have in my life & glad that I had/will have this time with my baby.

Any prayers would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks my friends.

7 comments:

Susan said...

Oh, I am so very sorry. Just so sorry. I don't usually pray, but I am doing it now, for you and your baby.

Changing Expectations said...

I am so sorry. I will pray for you and for the baby and hope that everything turns out okay.

Bumble said...

Oh Jen, this is not what I wanted to read hun. I'm so so sorry. I'll still be praying really hard for you and your little fighter to make it through this okay xxx

Baby Blues said...

I don't know what to say. But know that you're in my prayers Jen. So sorry Jen.

Hopeful Mother said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I can not imagine how hard this must be. I am praying for you and your family.

Heather said...

I am so sorry, Jen. I don't know what to say; I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you both. I'll pray for a miracle for you.

Carol said...

oh gosh, I am so sorry you got this awful news. I will be hoping that your doctor is wrong. And I will also be wishing you strength and comfort if the dr is not wrong.