My Husband & I met with my Nurse Practitioner today. She is a wonderful, kind woman & cried right along with both of us. It made me feel so much better to talk with her & she let me know what I could expect with everything. She said normally with pregnancies that have low fluid the baby doesn't go much past 25 weeks or so, so she said I can come in & hear the heart tones as much as I like, so we know if the baby is still with us. I decided that once a week will be my comfort level & we can go from there. She said once the baby passes they will induce me & I will deliver the baby. She said they can do a D&C, but we wouldn't be able to see the baby & she said I think you should hold your baby & let him/her know how much you love them. She said we will be able to hold the baby as long as we like & we can make arrangements before of after for her/him. She thinks it's a girl & so did the Perinatal Specialist, so hopefully we will be able to find out for sure when we go back for our follow up U/S in two weeks. We got to hear the heartbeat today (152) & it was so bittersweet. I can't believe that I finally made it to this point & now I am going to lose my so longed for baby. It's going to be difficult going through the upcoming weeks, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I think the reality of everything finally hit home with my Husband today, he was very emotional at the appointment & it's hard to see him hurting like that. I know that we will get through this & that someday we will get our baby to bring home. I keep praying to God that I can't take much more, so can this please be it for a while. Hopefully, he is listening.
More later.........
Monday, May 21, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
That dark cloud will not stop following me....
16 weeks, 2 days--
Today's visit with the Perinatal Specialist did not go well. The baby is measuring on track, heart rate 149, but the fluid has gone down even more. She said if she wanted to do an amnio she wouldn't even be able to, because there wouldn't be enough to even test. The baby also might have a hole in it's heart, there is so little fluid though, it's hard for them to see things clearly. She said she is concerned about this being related to some syndrome, which they can't pinpoint yet. She said she is 99% sure that this pregnancy will not end well. She said at this point it's up to us if we want to terminate due to the fatal problems, but I told her our stance on abortion, no matter what the situation is firm. I would rather have God take my baby, than have to make that decision for myself. That is only my personal feeling. She said she is fine with that, it's our decision. She will check us again in two weeks & maybe by some miracle of God the fluid will have gotten better, but it's doubtful. I asked her if the baby would be in any pain & she said absolutely not, when/if the baby passes it will be peaceful & the baby will be with it's Mom. She was very nice & compassionate, but honest, which I appreciate. She said this was just shitty luck & nothing I could have done, or would do, would change the outcome. She said when things go south they can do an autopsy & see if this would be a reoccurring problem & then they could possibly test the 13 remaining embryos.
Sucky way to start the weekend, but I am trying to be thankful for the things I do have in my life & glad that I had/will have this time with my baby.
Any prayers would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks my friends.
Today's visit with the Perinatal Specialist did not go well. The baby is measuring on track, heart rate 149, but the fluid has gone down even more. She said if she wanted to do an amnio she wouldn't even be able to, because there wouldn't be enough to even test. The baby also might have a hole in it's heart, there is so little fluid though, it's hard for them to see things clearly. She said she is concerned about this being related to some syndrome, which they can't pinpoint yet. She said she is 99% sure that this pregnancy will not end well. She said at this point it's up to us if we want to terminate due to the fatal problems, but I told her our stance on abortion, no matter what the situation is firm. I would rather have God take my baby, than have to make that decision for myself. That is only my personal feeling. She said she is fine with that, it's our decision. She will check us again in two weeks & maybe by some miracle of God the fluid will have gotten better, but it's doubtful. I asked her if the baby would be in any pain & she said absolutely not, when/if the baby passes it will be peaceful & the baby will be with it's Mom. She was very nice & compassionate, but honest, which I appreciate. She said this was just shitty luck & nothing I could have done, or would do, would change the outcome. She said when things go south they can do an autopsy & see if this would be a reoccurring problem & then they could possibly test the 13 remaining embryos.
Sucky way to start the weekend, but I am trying to be thankful for the things I do have in my life & glad that I had/will have this time with my baby.
Any prayers would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks my friends.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Beautiful Day--15 weeks, 1day!
Today is simply beautiful here in MN, sunny & 86 degrees, yahoo!!! All the grass is green now, the trees are full & all the flowers are blooming, I love this time of year. I planted my basil & dill in their pots, got my flowers out on the deck & life is good right now. The townhouse was put on the market Monday & we had a showing last night, one tonight & we have an open house on Saturday. We have a purchase agreement on a new house contingent upon selling ours, & we love it, so hoping our house sells!!
We got a letter in the mail with the results from the Perinatal Clinic, Down Syndrome is 1:10,000, & the Trisomy's are 1:9,450. Glad to get that news! Now if we can just get good news about the amniotic fluid when we go back for our U/S next Friday, I will finally be able to relax!! :) I am hoping & praying that things are looking up.
I booked a ticket to visit my best friend in Atlanta, GA for the end of June. I am so excited!!! We always have the best time whenever I visit. Normally we drink ourselves into a coma, so will have to find something else to do this time!! :) Will shop at the Outlet Malls, relax with books outside, & cook fabulous meals!! I can't wait.
In other news, My Husband bought a motorcycle two weeks ago. He got one of those Harley Sportster something or others. He is in love! He will sometimes just go into the garage start it, & rev it up just to listen to it, God help us........He's a Freak, but I love him!! :)
We got a letter in the mail with the results from the Perinatal Clinic, Down Syndrome is 1:10,000, & the Trisomy's are 1:9,450. Glad to get that news! Now if we can just get good news about the amniotic fluid when we go back for our U/S next Friday, I will finally be able to relax!! :) I am hoping & praying that things are looking up.
I booked a ticket to visit my best friend in Atlanta, GA for the end of June. I am so excited!!! We always have the best time whenever I visit. Normally we drink ourselves into a coma, so will have to find something else to do this time!! :) Will shop at the Outlet Malls, relax with books outside, & cook fabulous meals!! I can't wait.
In other news, My Husband bought a motorcycle two weeks ago. He got one of those Harley Sportster something or others. He is in love! He will sometimes just go into the garage start it, & rev it up just to listen to it, God help us........He's a Freak, but I love him!! :)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Hang in there little bean!!
Sorry I've been in hiding lately, but I'm back!! :)
We had our visit at the Perinatal Clinic yesterday. The baby is measuring right on track at 13 1/2 weeks & the nasal bone looked normal as well as the neck thickness. They are concerned about the amount of amniotic fluid in the sac, so they want me to come back in 3 weeks to check on the babies kidneys & to see if the placenta has kicked in & produced more fluid. The Dr. said we will be optimistic that it will look better next time. My Husband said, "Amen, sister". The baby was moving all over the place & he/she looks all squished up in there & was crossing his/her legs. I will try to post the U/S pictures, but when I scanned them yesterday they didn't come out very well. We could also see the baby swallowing fluid & sucking it's thumb, it was really neat.
We had another check-up today with the OB & he listened to the heartbeat (152) & measured my pelvic area. He said due to my small size nothing that weighs more than 7 pounds at most, is getting out of there. He said we will deal with that when the time comes. I passed all of my blood tests with flying colors & my urine was clear as well. He asked if we wanted to do the spina bifida testing at 16 weeks & we opted to not do that. The Dr. agreed & said we have been through enough already, it would just be one more thing to worry about & there's nothing they can do about it anyway. So, we go back in 3 weeks to the Perinatal Clinic & a couple days after that another check-up with the OB's office.
I had to admit that I am still nervous about the pregnancy, I need to stop "Googling" my brains out & just relax. I really hope things look good when we go back in three weeks. Yikes!! :)
Other than that nothing else too exciting to report. Our Realtor is coming over tonight to talk about how much we should list our townhouse for & we are going to get it on the market & start looking for a single family home. I'm excited, but nervous. I don't like change very much, so it's always interesting when we do something major like this. We shall see!!
We had our visit at the Perinatal Clinic yesterday. The baby is measuring right on track at 13 1/2 weeks & the nasal bone looked normal as well as the neck thickness. They are concerned about the amount of amniotic fluid in the sac, so they want me to come back in 3 weeks to check on the babies kidneys & to see if the placenta has kicked in & produced more fluid. The Dr. said we will be optimistic that it will look better next time. My Husband said, "Amen, sister". The baby was moving all over the place & he/she looks all squished up in there & was crossing his/her legs. I will try to post the U/S pictures, but when I scanned them yesterday they didn't come out very well. We could also see the baby swallowing fluid & sucking it's thumb, it was really neat.
We had another check-up today with the OB & he listened to the heartbeat (152) & measured my pelvic area. He said due to my small size nothing that weighs more than 7 pounds at most, is getting out of there. He said we will deal with that when the time comes. I passed all of my blood tests with flying colors & my urine was clear as well. He asked if we wanted to do the spina bifida testing at 16 weeks & we opted to not do that. The Dr. agreed & said we have been through enough already, it would just be one more thing to worry about & there's nothing they can do about it anyway. So, we go back in 3 weeks to the Perinatal Clinic & a couple days after that another check-up with the OB's office.
I had to admit that I am still nervous about the pregnancy, I need to stop "Googling" my brains out & just relax. I really hope things look good when we go back in three weeks. Yikes!! :)
Other than that nothing else too exciting to report. Our Realtor is coming over tonight to talk about how much we should list our townhouse for & we are going to get it on the market & start looking for a single family home. I'm excited, but nervous. I don't like change very much, so it's always interesting when we do something major like this. We shall see!!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The Sweetest Sound!
I had my appointment with the Nurse Practitioner at my OB Clinic today. She went through all the pregnancy things with me & then said she would try to hear the heartbeat with the Fetal Doppler. She said if for some reason she couldn't hear it, she would do an U/S to check on things. Good news, we heard the heartbeat right away, today it was around 152, she said that is perfect. She said the chance of miscarriage drops 80% once they can hear the heartbeat with Doppler. I told her about Dr. L's concerns, so they are going to send me to the Perinatal Clinic in 2-3 weeks for testing, she said someone should get in touch with me today to set that up. She said right now as far as they are concerned, they are glad the baby has a good heartbeat & that it is growing according to schedule. I have another appointment set up with the OB for 2 weeks. So, 11 weeks & counting now....Hopefully, I can keep on counting!! :) My God, what an ordeal!! I am thankful for getting this far, Yipee!!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Psycho Alert....Warning!
OMG, is 183 really high for baby's heart rate? Someone help me before I Google myself blind. Maybe the U/S Tech made a mistake?
RE Withdrawal
I had my first U/S at my OB Clinic today. The baby is now measuring 9 weeks, 5 days, so just two days behind where it should be. The heart rate was 183. The sac was only measuring at 7 weeks & something. The Dr. wasn't there for the U/S, so I asked the technician about the sac & she didn't seem to think anything of it. She thought it was my first U/S since learning I was pregnant, so I had to explain everything to her. I told her about the IVF & the vanishing twin & she just said, "Hmmmm, I see". I wanted to jump up & shout, give me that wand, I'll show you how it's done. OMG, I miss my RE already, I want to go back there, help me!! Don't they know that I am a special needs infertile, for the love of God? Plus, this pregnancy has been touch & go from the beginning. How am I going to make without the loving, hand holding of my Reproductive Clinic? This is going to be interesting. I have an appointment with my Nurse Practitioner next Thursday to go over all the paperwork & everything. Yikes, I'm scared..............I'm scared to hope that this might actually work, I've been preparing myself for the worst all along, now I don't know what to think. Oh God, please let this be O.K.
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