Monday, March 5, 2007

2 More Days...

Well, Sunday was the dreaded Baby Dedication at Church. I had to prepare myself all morning by chanting silently to myself, don't cry, you are fine, don't cry, oh shit, don't cry, holy balls, don't cry....This technique as weird as it might seem actually worked. I did not die of a shot through the heart (thanks Bon Jovi), nobody had to break out the defibrillator & I made it through the Dedication without embarrassing either my Husband or myself by leaving church looking like Tammy Faye Baker. Whew, that was a close call. It was nice to see my friends so happy & I really am honestly happy for them, I just want to be happy for myself as well some day.
I have been trying hard not to think too much about Thursday's U/S. I really, really, really want this to be it, but I am also thankful that we had 13 embryos to freeze. I know lots of people have to go through IVF multiple times before they are successful, so I will march on if it's bad news on Thursday. It's a little difficult to have a positive attitude, because I also want to protect myself if it's bad news. Jeez, who ever thought getting preggo would be this hard? I should just get fired from my job, start smoking crack & then maybe I would finally get pregnant. My Husband has a half brother who was in jail for 6 years & just got out last summer. He has two children from two different mothers & he told us the same thing. "Listen bro, just quit your job, start stealing some stuff, take some drugs & most likely Jen will get knocked up". My Husband's other brother also has two kids from two different women, one was a one night stand, can you believe it? Isn't that just awesome??
My Best Friend has had several miscarriages & is now finally moving on to adoption. It makes me so pissed off when I think about it, because she would make the most amazing Mom. She has been through so much & I wish I could take her pain away. I know that once they get their baby, she is going to be so happy & she deserves to be. Her dog just had 11 puppies the other day & she said, "Dude, even my dog is pregnant & having babies".

Let this be a viable pregnancy, let this be a viable pregnancy, please God, let this work!! AMEN!

4 comments:

Carol said...

Glad to hear that you made it through the church service ok. And you only have a few more days to wait before you have an answer on this pregnancy. I hope you do get a clear answer one way or the other - and not more limbo. That is really great news that you have so many frozen embryos, so you don't have to go through another fresh cycle.

Heather said...

2 more days? Heck, it's more like a day and a half at this point! You're almost there! When is the u/s? I'm sure to be refreshing your blog about every two minutes that morning!

I'm so excited for you!

Hopeful Mother said...

I know what you mean - why is this so hard for those of us who are responsible adults? It is certainly not about who is deserving...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for good news from your u/s.

Bumble said...

Well done on not crying at the ceremony, I know how tough they can be. Only a little while longer to hang on, you can do it... Hoping for the very best news...